Mulan felt hollow. She moved, but without direction or purpose. Over and over she heard the word expulsion and saw the look of disgust and disappointment on Commander Tung’s face, the look of betrayal on Honghui’s.
She had never meant to hurt them. She had just wanted to do her part. Yet somehow, all along, she had known this day would come. One way or another. But for one brief, happy moment, as she had caused that avalanche to wipe out the enemy, she had felt strong, proud. She had felt like she could do anything.
But for what? Now she was expelled. She couldn’t retreat home. She couldn’t return to the army. She had nowhere to go. So she just walked. She left the valley behind, heading up into the mountains with Black Wind by her side. With each step, the air grew colder, but she didn’t notice.
Reaching the edge of a cliff, Mulan stopped. The whole of the world seemed to stretch out in front of her, the sinking sun setting the snow-covered ground aflame with reds and pinks. In front of her sat the Phoenix, its own feathers a bright complement to the scene. Mulan stared at the beautiful sight, and her heart broke still further.
Sinking to the ground, Mulan allowed herself to cry. The sobs wracked her body as she wrapped her arms around herself, seeking comfort she could not find. As her crying intensified, she struggled to catch her breath, her chest heaving and tight. She felt broken inside, like a part of her had been shattered and would never be made whole again.
“What have I done?” she said, looking over at the Phoenix. “I can never face my family??.??.??. I can never go home??.??.??.” As she said the words out loud, a fresh wave of grief hit Mulan. She lowered her head. She was no longer the strong warrior she had become; she was a fragile, frightened girl.
As she sat there, she heard the Phoenix come closer. The bird wrapped one of her wings around Mulan. The comfort was too much for Mulan to take. The bird’s unconditional love felt undeserved—but Mulan allowed herself to accept it, leaning into the Phoenix.
For a long moment, bird and girl were still as Mulan’s crying softened. Just as she managed to get her breathing back under control, a shadow fell over them. Mulan looked up, and her eyes narrowed as she saw a group of black birds flying in formation. They swooped and lifted on the air currents in a beautiful—but sinister—dance.
There was something familiar about the birds. As Mulan followed their movements, she realized why. They were the same black birds that had attacked the army earlier.
As if on cue, the birds flew straight down at her, and as they did, they transformed. Now in place of the flock was the witch standing before them. Mulan and the Phoenix shared a look. At the bird’s encouraging nod, Mulan pushed herself to her feet. Lifting her sword and summoning the little strength she had left, she met the witch’s piercing gaze with one of her own.
“If you’re here to kill me,” she said, “I promise that won’t be easy.”
“Kill you?” Xianniang repeated, her eyebrows raising in surprise. She shook her head. “No. Your disgrace is worse than death.”
The words were like a slap to Mulan’s face. She tightened her grip on her sword, forcing herself to keep her breathing even and her expression calm. She didn’t want to give the witch the satisfaction of seeing her pain. But she failed.
As the witch recognized Mulan’s agony, her expression softened. “I understand,” she said. She paused. Her eyes grew thoughtful, as though she were lost in a memory. “I was a girl like you when my people turned on me.”
In her hand, Mulan’s sword trembled. There was heartbreak in the witch’s words. And for the first time since she had encountered Xianniang, Mulan saw her not as a witch, but as a woman. She had been quick to assume Xianniang was a terrible person because she had aligned herself with the Shadow Warriors. But Mulan had not stopped to wonder why. Why would someone with so much power submit to B??ri Khan’s command? But here it was: Xianniang’s own people had shunned her. Looking at the witch, Mulan realized they had more in common than she could have ever known.
As if reading Mulan’s thoughts, the witch went on. The pain in her voice was mirrored on her face as she spoke. “I’ve lived a life of exile. No country. No village. No family.” Pausing, Xianniang made sure Mulan was looking at her as she added, “We are the same.”
“We’re not,” Mulan said, even though the exact thought had just crossed her mind. “We can’t be.”Xianniang shook her head. “We are. The more power I showed, the more I was crushed. Just like you. You saved them today—and still, they turned on you.”
Mulan felt like the ground beneath her feet had grown unsteady. What Xianniang said was true. Commander Tung and the others, they had turned on her, despite everything she had done for them.
“Merge your path with mine,” the witch said, watching as Mulan wrestled with her thoughts. “We will be stronger together.”
For a long moment, Mulan said nothing. She could not deny that, together, they would be a powerful pair. But what would she be sacrificing to turn her back on the world she knew? Slowly, the shaky feeling began to fade. “You follow a coward—a leader who runs from battle,” she said.
Xianniang laughed. “B??ri Khan did not run from battle!” she said. “That coward will take the Imperial City. And your emperor will fall.”
The witch’s words finally snapped Mulan out of her fog.
Fall?
she thought. What was the witch saying?
“That can’t happen!” Mulan cried, strength once again flooding through her. She took a step forward.